From …Iru!, Takara, Playstation. This game is great, because it tries to shove every genre of horror together in a big mish-mash. It would just be mediocre, but it’s completely bugfuck insane.
The setting sun gleans through the wall of windows, bathing the room and its inhabitants in a nectarine glow. Teddy’s tickling the ivories as usual, playing his own special brand of light dinner music. I don’t have a flight to catch, I just like pretending.
I sip my Bailey’s and cola, the green foam cakes around my mouth, invading my nostrils with the foul smell of wet dog and Irish cream. I curse myself for choosing this abortion of a cocktail again, but I always finish what I start. Foam drips off of my moustache and onto my tuxedo pants. I rub it in with my thumb and forefinger, leaving no trace of the spillage but a dark patch and stinky fingers.
Just then, a loud bang shatters the serenity and turns heads. In walks Myron, kicking the doors open in typical show-off fasion. Myron’s another regular—morbidly obese, near bursting from a bright white suit, small circular sunglasses resting upon his chubby cheeks. His smile is unmistakeable. Actually, his name isn’t even Myron, it’s just what I call him.
"BAH-KEEP," he booms, "GET ME A TOM COLLINS, STAT!" he bares his gums at the bartender, clicks his fingers and points at him. For a fat man, he certainly has an undeniably jazzy style. He hops up onto the stool next to me and slaps me on the back.
"VERNON, YOU OLD DOG," he smiles at me, calling me by his own little made-up nickname, "ARE YOU A BETTING MAN?" He nods furiously as if to answer his own question. I look at him with indignation and attraction.
"It depends on the game."
"THE GAME?" he shouts, "YOU WISH TO KNOW THE GAME? THE GAME IS DICE, PURE AND SIMPLE." He produces a pair of hot-pink d20s from his breast-pocket and hands them to me. I roll them about in my palm, They’re warm and moist. "I WILL ROLL." He snatches them back from me. I sniff my palm but all I smell is the fading aroma of my foamy accident.
With an earth-shaking “HOO-AHHH”, Myron pitches the dice directly at the bartender. One misses him and hits the wall behind the bar, bouncing off the mirror and falling down between two liquor bottles. The other is a direct hit, right in his breadbasket, ricocheting off and flying backwards into the lounge to land in parts unknown.
Myron takes out a filthy hankie before removing his sunglasses and wiping them down. I never noticed before but his eyes are miniscule, like black sesame seeds placed carefully in a desert of face. He replaces his sunglasses, more streaked with filth than they were before.
"YOU WIN, VERNON," unbreakable smile across his face, "DRINKS ARE ON ME."
Deja Vu 2 on GBA, what a blast from the past.
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I totally forgot to tell you guys I have a new mixtape out. It’s free! Like me!
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This Week’s Hi-and-Lo Art
Funeral Parade of Roses (Bara no Sōretsu, 1969, Toshio Matsumoto) is Oedipus Rex as a transvestite fever dream. The documentary-style interviews and fight scenes are boss. I enjoyed it a lot, but I couldn’t help but feel that there were slight shades of reefer madness and gay panic within the narrative.
Wild Arms 4 (Wild Arms the 4th Detonator, 2005, Media Vision) is a game I pre-ordered when it was first released. A long-time fan of the series, initially I felt that Wild Arms 4 was the worst game in the series: a lacklustre production boasting poor gameplay and insufferable characters. I revisited the game on a whim this week. Though my opinion still stands regarding many of the game’s central characters, I’ve found it to be an enjoyable romp featuring an unorthodox marriage of gameplay styles.
A poster I drew for Robert to celebrate our anniversary
My awesome partner made this for me for our anniversary
A selection of EP covers from your favourite band TEAM PI$$
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Pop Culture Big Nurv is Diggin’ This Week
Nabbie no Koi (Nabbie’s Love), 1999, dir. Yuji Nakae
When Grandma’s old flame Sun Ra comes back to Okinawa to rekindle a lost romance dating back 60 years, Big Trouble comes to a Small Island! Will she or won’t she? Come for Rinshō Kadekaru playing The Star Spangled Banner on the shamisen, stay for the leopard-print legging-wearing Onmyōji!
Crimson Shroud, 2012, developed by Yasumi Matsuno & Level-5, Nintendo 3DS e-Shop
Yasumi Matsuno (Ogre Battle, Vagrant Story, Final Fantasy Tactics) is BACK and this time he’s once again taken an unorthodox approach to video game development. Part visual novel, part virtual-tabletop roleplaying game, Crimson Shroud is a short but very well-written excusion that has all of the fun of Dungeons & Dragons sans the requirement of hanging out with sweaty nerdlingers all night.
Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City, 2010, developed by Atlus Co., Nintendo DS
My copy of Etrian Odyssey IV actually just arrived in the mail, but I’d yet to take my shrinkwrap off my copy of III which arrived in January. So hey better late than never! If you like tough-as-nails dungeon crawlers ala Wizardry or Dungeon Hack, this is one to pick up. You get to draw your own map on the touch screen, chart the high seas, and die a thousand times.
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